The Ship Without a Rudde

Lately I have spent a great deal of time with rudder-less ships.
People who get up each morning and do exactly what they did yesterday.
Not that they particularly want to... it's just what they do.
They do the same.
Day in, day out.
Year in, year out.

They expend a huge amount of energy sailing in circles on the Sea of Frustration.
Talk to them and they have no real direction.
No clarity and no certainty about what they want their future to look like.
They are desperate for different... without really knowing exactly (or even vaguely) what that different is.

They've never really defined it.
They have no real direction, purpose or vision.
For them life is a chore; a series of unplanned (and often unenjoyable) events.
Life happens to them, around them and in spite of them.

They don't create their best life... their life creates them.

Their daily reality is shaped (if not, totally controlled) by situations, circumstances, events and other people.
They haven't made a (significant) decision in years.
Ever perhaps.
Too fearful, too disorganized, too apathetic, too full of excuses.

They don't set goals (tried it once... didn't work... only leads to disappointment... too much pain). Sure, they know what goal setting is (that is, they have an intellectual understanding of it) but they don't have a practical application of it in their life.

They hope, they wish, they wait... but they don't have clearly defined goals that have translated to actual works in progress.

Much of their existence is spent negotiating a series of unplanned events.
They spend their days reacting and surviving, rather than creating and thriving.
They hope that their crappy life will somehow fix itself or fall into place.

Or perhaps someone or something... will save them.

"How come nothing good ever happens to me?"... people ask me all the time.

The only thing which needs to happen for our life to change for the better... is us; we need to happen.

Many of us have never (seriously) sat down to plan (think, decide, rationalize, organize, create, define) our best life. We spend more time planning a party than we do our life.
Then we wake up one day and we're five years older... still stuck in a reality (situation, relationships, career, health, habits) that we don't really want.
We've compromised.

If we want 'better' (whatever that is for us individually) we need to spend quality time and energy gaining clarity about (defining) specifically what it is we want in.. and from.. our life.

And if we don't define it, we probably won't have it.

We need to stop stumbling and bumbling our way through life.
We need to find our rudder.
The person with no direction is a sad, frustrated, de-motivated and unfulfilled person.
A person who's losing (or has lost) hope.

So often we don't make (significant) decisions, don't take chances, don't have direction and don't have a clearly defined plan for, or certainty about, our future.
We just do what we did yesterday.
We go through the motions.
Again.
We have become creatures of repetition and habit.
We have accepted average.

If you have felt a little rudder-less from time to time, here are some suggestions/thoughts... they will prove to be invaluable IF you do something with them.

1. Spend time determining your life purpose (your reason for being).
No, this is not a five minute process... but do it and you will find your rudder.
You will have direction, purpose, energy, enthusiasm, momentum and joy.
(Remember joy?)
If you struggle to determine your purpose, then start by identifying your beliefs, standards, values, passions, loves, desires and dreams... your purpose will come out of these things.
When I make this suggestion (to explore our life purpose) many people automatically resign the thought to the 'too hard' basket.
Don't be one of them.

2. Decide where you want to be in 1, 2, 5 years.
In your career, your relationships, with your health, your finances, your spiritual life (whatever is important to you). Start with the end in mind (get clarity about where you want to be) and work backwards from there.
Don't panic if you don't know exactly how it's going to happen... first, get some certainty about what you want (specifically) and then you can start to figure out the practical (how-to-get-there) stuff.

3. Make a life-changing commitment.
A commitment that you are going to stop 'coping' with what happens around you and to you... and start living the life of your design.
All successful endeavors start with an idea, a decision, a commitment.
All change starts in our head... when we get to that place (emotionally, psychologically) things will start to happen (practically).
As I've said before... my world will change... when I change.

4. Know that you're the problem and the solution.
Everything else is just a resource, a hurdle, a lesson, an opportunity.

5. Decide what you don't want.
Sometimes doing things back-to-front produces better results.
Gaining certainty about what we don't want (for our life)... will often help us find our rudder.

So now you know what to do.
But will you do what you know?